Springboks and Wallabies - desperate battle of the wooden spoon

15 Frans Steyn, 14 JP Pietersen, 13 Jaque Fourie, 12 Jean de Villiers, 11 Bryan Habana, 10 Morné Steyn, 9 Francois Hougaard, 8 Pierre Spies, 7 Juan Smith, 6 Schalk Burger, 5 Victor Matfield, 4 Flip van der Merwe, 3 Jannie du Plessis, 2 John Smit (capt), 1 Gurthrö Steenkamp. Reserves: 16 Chiliboy Ralepelle, 17 CJ van der Linde, 18 Danie Rossouw, 19 Ryan Kankowski, 20 Ricky Januarie, 21 Butch James, 22 Juan de Jongh.

This is the Bok teams for the Test against the Wallabies. It’s going to be a pretty desperate match as the Boks try and hand the wooden spoon currently in their grasp back to the Australians. South Africa can’t buy a win at the moment (hey that’s an idea, get the refs agent on the phone. He doesn’t have an agent?) and there will be 15 massively frustrated massive men on the field on this Saturday. Are the Boks going to be able to pick themselves up after the gut wrenching loss last weekend? Will Victor Matfield be the victor on his hundredth cap? And will Francois Hougaard get rid of that awful mullet he’s sporting? These are all deep, difficult questions to answer. And it’s safe to say that Hougaards hair will remain untouched for another week.

For me, I think it’s important to look at each coaches tactics for the weekend. Not for the game, but for the post match excuses if they lose. Deans is likely to run with his tried and tested ‘We’re building for the World Cup’. It’s served him well in the past, but the opposition (the press) have this one sussed now so he may have to come up something more creative. If I was him, I’d blame Cooper. That little upstart probably has all the Aussies feeling like they are hard down by with their salaries now. They may go on strike before the match.

De Villiers is a bit harder to predict, he could literally say anything. ‘Conspiracy’ was his initial gambit, followed by a bit of self deprecating( but spot on) humour by calling himself a clown. This is from 2008 “The same people who threw their robes on the ground when Jesus rode on a donkey were the same people who crowned him and hit him with sticks and stuff like that, and were the same people who said afterwards how we shouldn't have done that, he's the son of God," de Villiers said. "So that's exactly what we do. You have to look at history is repeating itself, and I'm not saying that I'm God."

I have to bow down to the master and admit he will come out with something better than I ever will.

So who’s going to win? For the Boks Frans Steyn and Jaque Fourie make their returns after suspensions and French adventures have been overcome, adding a bit of welcome class and experience to the side. South Africa looked much better last weekend – it would be good to see them run with the ball, but at this stage as a supporter of the Bokke I would take any kind of win they could deliver, big small, boring, just don’t lose this one.

The Wallabies will have money man game breaker Cooper back, they are one up over the Boks, and are one smart team – how they manage to compete at this level with their player resources is a mystery. They also looked pretty decent against the AB’s in the last match.

But as I’m hoping somewhat against my better judgment that the Boks turned a corner last weekend  and I’m going with them for a 5 point win.

All Blacks and Wallabies in no card shocker!

Photo from:http://www.flickr.com/photos/nznationalparty/3930212970/

Yes it’s taken 5 games of Tri Nations rugby, but the first card free final has finally arrived. You really have to question the commitment of the players when nobody’s sufficiently fired up to pilfer ceaselessly and illegally at the ruck, carry out a spear tackle or carelessly behead an opponent. Jonathan Kaplan, the somewhat cold referee from South Africa, found nobody motivated to enough to be awarded with a card.

The whole card situation leaves refs in a tricky situation, giving them little scope for expression. The IRB, in typical dictatorial nanny state style, has decreed that refs may only choose between a yellow or a red card. No flowery Hallmark or Forget-me-not cards for our refs, or even the ever popular Garfield card, to be used by the ref with a sense of humour (if there is one). No it’s just yellow or red.

A yellow card from a ref means ‘I’ve had my eye on you (no, not in that way). You’re a free spirited type, do it my own way, I don’t play by the rules kind of guy. I admire your boisterous commitment to the game, I’m sure that when you stood on his foot/hand/head it was purely an accident. You’re obviously red hot today, and way ahead of the others – let’s give them 10 minutes to catch up to you, OK.’

It’s every players dream to be noticed by the ref – some like Schalk Burger, grow their hair long and blonde to make it easier for them to stand out, while others, no matter how they try (eg Ritchie McCaw) have to be content with the ref shouting ‘Number 7!’ the whole time.

A red card from a ref means ‘Your continuous enthusiasm to obtain: the man of the match award/various not generally detachable body parts/a prison record leaves me with little choice but to hand you over to the autographs hunters before everybody else. Enjoy your well earned rest and an opportunity to shower before all the hot water’s gone.

Surely the IRB, in an attempt to improve the image of refs and make them seem more approachable, could introduce a range of new cards. There could be the green card for sportsmanship ( not likely to be used often but it’s the thought that counts), the silver card for the best hairstyle (sponsored by L’Oreal – because you’re worth it!) the pink card – ok maybe not a pink card, and of course for the IRB to disclose the secret card that all international refs carry, the all black card, which is Ritchie McCaws all time get of jail free card.

How was the match you ask? Well, the first half was a frenetic barnstorming affair, the All Blacks showing off their attacking flair while the Wallabies hurt them on the counter attack. By the time the second half rolled around both teams were so cream crackered that not much happened.

The Wallbies played much, much better, there was a bit of passing behind the player, not unexpected when you look at the backline changes, and Curtly Beal made a big impact. I’m looking to forward to seeing Cooper in action again, and where has Digby Ioane gone, that’s how they’ll unlock defenses.

The All Blacks were superb again, controlled and ruthless, solid in defense, there’s only one show in town at the moment and it’s colour is black.

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Tri Nations preview

State of the Nations

Australia

Australia are a bit all over the place this year I’m afraid – a loss to England and a flaky win over Ireland hardly gives you much confidence for a good tri nations.

The reason for this is a bad run of injuries, in the front row, at lock and scrum half, but all over the field really, so there’s no continuity at the moment.

 I always rate the Aussies for playing the smartest rugby, but without a decent scrum and lineout it is always going to be a struggle, and loads of juggling around in the line means the potency of player like Copper and Giteau are stifled.

Cooper is their player to watch. I’d say they’ll be competitive with the AB’s but come off second best against the Boks.

New Zealand

The AB’s still look they are in transition at the moment. Their two king pins Carter and McCaw are firing at about 75 % at the moment, and they’ve had a bad run of injuries as well.

They looked good against Ireland and the first test for Wales, but fell off in the second test.

Their backline is razor sharp and they are absolutely ruthless but their scrum is under pressure, in the front row and at lock. Cory Jane is their player of the moment for me.

 They are developing a mental block for the Boks that most other teams have for the AB's, and I’d say this is going to be second place for them this year.

South Africa

Finally the Boks – in awesome form last Tri nations, had a poor end of season tour and have looked good against fairly weak opposition in the warms ups.

Good Super 14 performances means their confidence is high, they have very few injuries and don’t know who to leave out at this stage.

The one chink in their armor is the absence of Fourie du Preez, in my opinion the best in the world for the way he reads and controls the game.

But I’d say these Bok’s are up for it, and I think it’ll be two tri’s in a row for them. Man to watch is Pierre Spies for speed and power he’s matchless at the moment.

Photo from:http://www.flickr.com/photos/7142999@N05/3800752605/sizes/o/