All Blacks and Wallabies in no card shocker!

Photo from:http://www.flickr.com/photos/nznationalparty/3930212970/

Yes it’s taken 5 games of Tri Nations rugby, but the first card free final has finally arrived. You really have to question the commitment of the players when nobody’s sufficiently fired up to pilfer ceaselessly and illegally at the ruck, carry out a spear tackle or carelessly behead an opponent. Jonathan Kaplan, the somewhat cold referee from South Africa, found nobody motivated to enough to be awarded with a card.

The whole card situation leaves refs in a tricky situation, giving them little scope for expression. The IRB, in typical dictatorial nanny state style, has decreed that refs may only choose between a yellow or a red card. No flowery Hallmark or Forget-me-not cards for our refs, or even the ever popular Garfield card, to be used by the ref with a sense of humour (if there is one). No it’s just yellow or red.

A yellow card from a ref means ‘I’ve had my eye on you (no, not in that way). You’re a free spirited type, do it my own way, I don’t play by the rules kind of guy. I admire your boisterous commitment to the game, I’m sure that when you stood on his foot/hand/head it was purely an accident. You’re obviously red hot today, and way ahead of the others – let’s give them 10 minutes to catch up to you, OK.’

It’s every players dream to be noticed by the ref – some like Schalk Burger, grow their hair long and blonde to make it easier for them to stand out, while others, no matter how they try (eg Ritchie McCaw) have to be content with the ref shouting ‘Number 7!’ the whole time.

A red card from a ref means ‘Your continuous enthusiasm to obtain: the man of the match award/various not generally detachable body parts/a prison record leaves me with little choice but to hand you over to the autographs hunters before everybody else. Enjoy your well earned rest and an opportunity to shower before all the hot water’s gone.

Surely the IRB, in an attempt to improve the image of refs and make them seem more approachable, could introduce a range of new cards. There could be the green card for sportsmanship ( not likely to be used often but it’s the thought that counts), the silver card for the best hairstyle (sponsored by L’Oreal – because you’re worth it!) the pink card – ok maybe not a pink card, and of course for the IRB to disclose the secret card that all international refs carry, the all black card, which is Ritchie McCaws all time get of jail free card.

How was the match you ask? Well, the first half was a frenetic barnstorming affair, the All Blacks showing off their attacking flair while the Wallabies hurt them on the counter attack. By the time the second half rolled around both teams were so cream crackered that not much happened.

The Wallbies played much, much better, there was a bit of passing behind the player, not unexpected when you look at the backline changes, and Curtly Beal made a big impact. I’m looking to forward to seeing Cooper in action again, and where has Digby Ioane gone, that’s how they’ll unlock defenses.

The All Blacks were superb again, controlled and ruthless, solid in defense, there’s only one show in town at the moment and it’s colour is black.

MPE37T8US5KM