6 Nations Preview - England sniff the Slam, Kidney gets to rap, Johnson replies, and pride at stake for France and Scotland

Yo lads let's kick it!(Picture from http://bit.ly/efTzKy )

RBS Six Nations

Saturday , March 19

Scotland vs Italy 14:30

Ireland vs England 17:00

France vs Wales 19:45

Last day of the tournament and I’ve got a long post and a lot to say. No wait, come back! It’s all good stuff.

Scotland vs Italy

Last match, last chance saloon for Scotland. Their sole ‘victory’ so far is a plucky six point loss over the English, rather than the more traditional victory when you score more points than the opposition. Moral victories don’t count either, aren’t recorded in the 6 Nations record book. And there’s no justice because with that pack, Scotland should have been a contender. Instead they get to take on Italy, their bogey team, on a high after an unbelievable victory over France (any victory of Italy over France has to be unbelievable), to try and rescue a vestige of pride out of this championship. I suppose the question is, do the Italians feel like they already have the result of the decade, and that their work is done? I’d say yes, they’re not good travellers and Scotland can and will end on a deserved high.

Ireland vs England

There’s history here in this fixture we don’t need to go into, 800 years of it, but on top of that there’s also the little neighbour big neighbour syndrome, and the small guy takes on the giant element as well. Goliath bashing another few dwarves is hardly a story, is it? But when David sorted out Goliath, it was big enough news to make it into the Bible! After 7 wins in a row, is it time to give Goliath a turn?

It’s a tough time for Ireland, the decisions and the results not going our way, the confidence is low, the frustration high. The match has me thinking about our expectations for the Irish team, and I don’t envy Declan Kidney one little bit. With two Heineken cups and a Six Nations Grand Slam under his belt, we have a talented, accomplished coach in charge. He only has four teams to pick from ( well three really as no disrespect but how often does a Connacht player make the team?) and on top of that there are key players from foreign climes in the teams. But there’s a lot of public expectation of what Ireland should achieve, and a lot has been achieved in fairness. We want Ireland to win, but above all we should be celebrating and respecting our players and coach’s for punching way above their weight in the last 5 years.

Kidney has run the changes for the match, Sexton is back, which should mean a running game, Fitzgerald is out, and Trimble gets a start.

England are talking up Ireland for this match, Martin Johnson says they have to respect us, and why wouldn’t they? After watching us scrape past Italy and Scotland, losing to France and getting hockeyed by Wales, you can see the fear in their eyes. Do they mean the respect like they’ll give us a decent burial? They are the form team in the tournament, bursting with big talented players, and I’d prefer them to honest and say it’s theirs to lose, which it is.

Declan Kidney was in fiery form after the last match, looking pretty mean, and after all the talk of respecting players and coaches, what else could I do but give you his team talk in rap form ( sung to tune of ‘Ice Ice Baby’ and my apologies to Vanilla Ice for messing with his deathless prose):

Yo lads let's kick it

Dec Dec baby
Dec Dec baby

All right stop collaborate and listen
Dec is back with his brave new invention
DOC ‘n POC grab a hold of them tightly
That Ashton is looking pretty sprightly
Will he ever stop yo I don't know
Catch the ball and ol’ Earls ain’t slow
To the extreme hit the ruck like a vandal
If they acting ill ‘lip’ll burn them like a candle
If there was a problem yo BOD’ll solve it
Check out the linesman while the ball boy revolves it


CHORUS

Dec Dec baby
Dec Dec baby

Be quick to the point to the point to the breakdown
We’re cooking Haskell like a pound of bacon
Burning them, if they ain't quick and nimble
Go crazy when you hear my signal
J10 and SOB ‘ll pick up the tempo
Get into space and it's time to go so Bowe
They be jealous 'cause we be over the line
Put a mark on Youngs feckin’ gnarly little nine
They be rollin' for their 5.0
In that low chariot so Fodens’ hair can blow
If there was a problem yo BOD'll solve it
Check out the linesman while the ball boy revolves it

Martin Johson get's to reply too: (to the tune of Bob Marleys' Jammin' - adopt your best Jamaican accent)

Ooh, yeah! All right!
We're slammin':
I wanna slam it wid you.
We're slammin', slammin',
And I hope you like slammin', too.

We're slammin' -
To think that slammin' was a thing of the past;
We're slammin',
And I hope this slam is gonna last

Yeah, we're - we're slammin' (wotcha-wa),
Wotcha-wa-wa-wa, we're slammin' (wotcha-wa),
See, I wanna slam it wid you
We're slammin' (slammin' slammin', slammin')
I'm slammed: I hope you're slammin', too.


Right so decision time, who’s going to win? My head says England, my heart says Ireland, going with my heart!

France vs Wales

Depending on how Ireland get on Wales could still be in the running for the 6 Nations, but they are going to have to thump France to make up the points difference. France only have pride to play for at this stage. The mercurial Lievremont has made 5 changes for the match – now there’s a surprise! Would love to see him choosing a wine in a restaurant, the place would be closed by the time he’d made his mind up. He still gets to bring in players like Marty and Traille though, France should be doing SO much better than they are! Wales lose the outstanding Shane Williams, who has now played his last 6 Nations match, and North has been brought into the squad. They have three wins in arrow, and are on a bit of a roll. The one thing we know for certain about how the French will play is that we don’t have a clue what they will do. Could Wales catch the backlash from their abject 6 Nations, or will we see the lamest French showing since they got walloped by the Walabies? Hard to call, going with France because they have to come right some time, and at home is the place to do it.

And happy St Patrick's day everyone!

6 Nations Results - France suck, Wales get a touch of luck, and England scrape past Scotland

Mike Phillips Photo from http://bit.ly/hW2JA5

RBS Six Nations



Saturday , March 12

Italy 22 - 21 France

Wales 19 - 13 Ireland

Sunday , March 13


England 22 - 16 Scotland


Italy 22 - 21 France


Well it has to said that I vastly underestimated France’s ability to suck. The French sunk to another low as they lost to Italy for the second time in 30 matches, the first time in a competitive fixture, and the first time in the 6 Nations. However flaky France may be, however overhyped and underperforming they were, you can’t take a thing from the Italians, who could have beaten Ireland, could have beaten Wales, and finally did beat France. They even scored a try! Quite how France manage to snatch another defeat from the jaws of victory is beyond me, when you look at the players they have – they don’t know who to leave out they have such depth in players. Another low for the current 6 Nations ‘champions’.


Wales 19 - 13 Ireland

It would be easy for me to blame the referee and linesman, and Declan Kidney for Ireland’s defeat at the hands of Wales at the Millennium stadium. And don’t worry I fully intend to. No i don’t, there’s no use crying over spilt milk, we lost, we had our chances right up to the end to right the wrongs, but it jusn’t wasn’t our day. There wasn’t any lack of effort, there wasn’t any lack of heart, but the precision wasn’t there. Ronan O’Gara wasn’t on song in the same way that was last week, and with a few exceptions – Sean O’Brien and Keith Earls, we just had an average day at the office. Thing is, we don’t have the quality replacements to bring in that we need when the first 15 is not performing. Wales got lucky with a bungled decision that was the decisive score, but hey, i would’ve taken that for Ireland. Phillips had a much better match for Wales all round, not too many other stand out performances apart from Sam Warburton who would have got my MOTM for quietly getting on with his job. Declan Kidney showed a bit of fire in the post match interview, why wouldn’t he. Interviewer What’s happened to the players that won the Grand Slam Two years ago Declan – They’re two years older

England 22 - 16 Scotland

The weekend rounded off with England taking on Scotland at Twickenham. The script was top team meets bottom team, crushing victory for England. The Scots however, put in their biggest performance of the championship and made life very difficult indeed for England, who perhaps had an eye on the match in Dublin and  the Grand Slam. There were lots of mistakes, and one moment of brilliance from Max Evans that got a try on the board for the Scots, but in the end England did just about enough to come away with the victory. Max’s brother Thom has retired from the game through injury, and is now going out with Kelly Brooke – he must have had the most awesome insurance compensation cover. So the slam is on for England, just the small matter of 15 Irishmen in Dublin to overcome.

Shark Bite

 

Melbourne Rebels 32 - 34 Sharks

The Sharks squeaked home against the Rebels – I thought it was going to be a walk in the park for the sharks but the Rebels had other ideas, being 25-13 up with 20 minutes to go. The Sharks fought their way back into the lead, then were gifted a try by Cipriani, cancelling out his own effort earlier. The gift made it a bonus point win, four from four for the boys from Durban.



6 Nations 2011 - Will England do better in the Calcutta Cup than they did in Bangalore? And it's going to be epic at the Millennium for Wales and Ireland

The Calcutta Cup

RBS Six Nations


Saturday , March 12

Italy vs France 14:30

Wales vs Ireland 17:00

Sunday , March 13

England vs Scotland 15:00

Italy vs France

France have never really got in gear this tournament. They started with a big win over Scotland – at this stage, conventional wisdom was that the French were a good team, the Scots having beaten the Boks last year were in good nick too, so a very good team beating a good team - result! Since then, Scotland have not lived up the ‘good’ tag, about adequate is the most enthusiastic description you’re going to get of them. So France beat an about adequate Scotland, staggered past Ireland by the hair of their chinny chinny chins, lurched into England and turned over the 6 Nations favourites title to the English. I’d say they peaked mid tournament last 6 Nations, and have declined ever since, at an erratic pace well suited to their temperament. Will they suck enough to lose to the Azzuri? Nick Mallet, the Italian coach, must look on in despair as the French lavishly waste their riches of players, while he tries to make up a team out of scraps. All he needs are a decent scrum half and a fly half... There’s no justice though, so France will beat the Italians with their hands tied behind their backs.

Wales vs Ireland

The match of the weekend sees the Welsh welcoming Ireland to the Millennium Stadium. They've even laid on a train strike to add to the fun of getting there. Now I wouldn’t like to put thoughts into the oppositions head, but if you were Welsh, with half of the team moving to France next year(Hook, Byrne,King), and the other half having a good think about it, wouldn’t the final weekend loom large in your mind as the weekend to shine, in front of an audience of future and potentially future employers? You wouldn’t want to miss your chance to shine by getting injured playing Ireland, the nouveaux pauvres of Europe, would you? Of course, you wouldn’t want to play too well and actually beat the French either – but then playing too well hasn’t really been an issue for Wales this season. So what I’m hoping for from the Welsh, is a sensible, long term, career orientated approach to the Ireland match.

What am I hoping for from the Irish team? Well, if I can ask them to throw their minds back a few weeks to the last match, do you remember the chap with the whistle, short shouty Welsh chap, Nigel whotisname, who kept on blowing his whistle and spoiling the game? The one you asked, ‘Do you not know who I am, like’? The one you mentioned your 50 caps to, and no offense, but you didn’t need any tips on playing the game? Well if they can remember anything he said, (highly unlikely), and actually listen to what Jonathan Kaplan has to say this weekend, and follow his advice, that would be a fantastic start. I want the team that scored three tries last outing to pitch up, not the one that gave away 15 penalties.

Ireland are unchanged for the match, which is good, they have the players capable of doing the job, they just need to hold their discipline and play to their potential. Wales have Hook back at fly half, which is good for them and should make for an open flowing game. I’m going with Ireland, but not by much, in what I hope is going to be an epic match, befitting the magnificent Millenium Stadium.

England vs Scotland

The last match of the weekend sees the Scots take on the Sassenach at Twickenham for the Calcutta Cup

( The 110-year-old trophy was famously kicked down Edinburgh's Princes Street by ‘over-refreshed’ Scotland's John Jeffrey and England's Dean Richards in 1988, as pictured above).

Ideally for Ireland, the Scots need to triumph, a tall order against an English team bursting with both talent and confidence. Whatever I said about Scotland being about adequate, let’s not forget you scored three good tries against last season’s Grand Slam champions France. And while not to put too fine a point on it, you sucked against Wales, every team has an off day. Then against Ireland, all those penalties you got, even nearly beating them in the end - that wasn’t bonehead Irish forwards, that was your good play forcing them to give away penalties(well it was bonehead Irish forwards, but it was still your pressure that got you the penalties). I somehow don’t think Scotland really need any motivation for this match anyway, playing the English is motivation in itself.

And as for England – these winning streaks are great, but they can end up as a monkey on your back, you’d hate to break your winning streak in the World Cup final for instance. So just take the match as it comes, don’t you have a history of looking out for the underdog as well? Anyway, don’t overestimate the Scots, sure look at their record in the 6 Nations so far. And the trip to Dublin is going to be the big match, keep your powder dry for that.

But any attempt to talk up Scotland or get the English overconfident can’t hide the fact that it’s been 28 years since Scotland won in England – it’ll be 29 this weekend.

Shark Bite

The Sharks take on the Melbourne Rebels - should be men aginst boys. The Rebels did beat the Brumbies - but I think that just means the Brumbies aren't very good. Could be 4 from 4 for the Sharks.

Leinster

Leinster get a crack at the Dragons in Wales. Their squad is starting to stand up, and value of having qulaity players like Boss on their books is paying - so more Blue Magic in store.

Sensational replacement found for the snood!

Picture from http://bit.ly/gbgw8V

The soccer world has been rocked by the banning of the snood! This essential protection gear for sensitive necks will be no more from July this year. But fear not, fashion and safety conscious soccer players, as a new craze is about to hit the sport, in the shape of the bustle.

Yes, this article of clothing, last popular with Victorian women, is set to make a sensational comeback in the premiership. You read it here first! It’s not just the necks of soccer players that are sensitive – every part of them is delicate.

The bustle helps you to protect the sensitive rear area while staying at the cutting edge of the fashion world.

Arsene Wenger congratulating Nasri on his dress sense

Our cameras caught Samir Nasri testing a prototype recently. A Manchester United player, who refused to be named, said ‘I could have done with one of those in the changing room after the Liverpool match with Sir Alex around’


Meanwhile, snood makers have been investigating the potential of the rugby market for their product. However, a spokesman for the industry said ‘While it’s possible that the snood may take off in in rugby, the only problem seems to be that not all of them have necks’

Picture from http://bit.ly/gbgw8V

In other news, it seems that soccer players are not the only pampered creatures to favour the snood.

Rugby -The Irish provinces ride out like the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, Apocalypse Now for London Irish, and take a bow the Sharks

The Irish provinces rode out this weekend like the Four Horsemen of the Apocolypse - Conquest, War, Pixie Dancer and Death. (Famine was on holiday so his brother stood in) Leinster preserved their unbeaten home record this season with a tidy win over the Scarlets. A big crowd at the RDS watched Johnny Sexton kick 16 points, with the win taking Leinster up to 2nd, until the Ospreys hammered Glasgow the next time. It’s impressive to see how the young guns in the backline step up when they need to. It was Ireland 2 Italy nil as Ulster accounted for Aironi without any problems, although they’ll feel like they let the bonus point get away, and Connacht overcame Treviso at the Sportsground. Munster then put the cherry on top the next day with a 5 point win over the Dragons. Try machine Doug Howlett ran in another couple, and Johne Murhpy had a good game, with Paul Warwick adding his customary cultured boot to proceedings. That cemented their position on the top of the Magners League.


Exiles

I might have very slightly overestimated London Irish’s potential this weekend (cough). I was wondering – would they get the bonus point win? Yes,no? Never mind the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, this was Apocalypse Now – the horror, the horror! Leeds, marooned at the bottom of the league, rose up to smite the Exiles. Tough times for Irish. Weekend of upsets in the Premiership, as Saracens, Newcastle and Exeter beat more fancied opposition.

 

Willem Alberts Picture from: http://bit.ly/dXwwl8

Shark Bite

The Sharks made it three from three in Super Rugby with a 5 point win over the Force. The Force had 14 men on the pitch most of the match after a red card, and 13 at the end. Patrick Lambie is growing with each game, Willem Alberts is rumbling along nicely, Stefan Terblanche gets better with age, their scrum is sensational and their backline looks potent. Is this the Sharks season?

Magners League

Edinburgh 11 - 16 Cardiff Blues

Leinster 26 - 15 Scarlets

Ulster 23 - 10 Aironi Rugby

Ospreys 37 - 6 Glasgow

Munster 38 - 17 Newport-Gwent D'gons

Super Rugby

Lions 32 - 41 Blues

Crusaders 33 - 18 Waratahs

Chiefs 38 - 10 Melbourne Rebels

Stormers 21 - 15 Cheetahs

Brumbies 25 - 31 Reds

Bulls 28 - 35 Highlanders

Western Force 12 - 39 Sharks

Aviva Premiership

Newcastle 33 - 18 Harlequins

Gloucester 34 - 22 Bath

Leicester 14 - 15 Saracens

Leeds Carnegie 27 - 19 London Irish

Wasps 33 - 26 Sale

Exeter 30 - 9 Northampton

Magners League, Aviva Premiership, Super Rugby, and hey! Post number 100!

This is a bit of a land mark post for me – post number 100! Being feted as expert, having my opinion eagerly sought, seeing my posts widely circulated – well, none of this has happened yet. Maybe by the time I get to 200! Fixtures are at the bottom by the way.

Leo Cullen Image from http://bit.ly/ek6mYH

Leinster vs Scarlets

Leinster get a boost for this match with the return of the likes of McFadden, Cullen, and Sexton, and with Hines on the bench. 14000 tickets have been sold for this match, which is more than decent for a Magners match in the middle of the Six Nations. Leinster are going to be relishing getting their first choice locks back into the fold, as they’ve definitely lacked a bit of grunt up front. Having Stan Wright back from injury is another boost – at the time he was injured, the question was, will Mike Ross be able to step up to the plate? He’s done more than that, pretty well cementing a place for himself in the Ireland team. I really rate the Scarlets, but with the stars they have out on international duty, and playing away from home, I’d say they are going to succumb to the Blue Magic.

Connaught and Ulster take on Italian opposition at home – Ulster are in pretty irresistible form and should make short work of Aironi. Connaught need to watch out against Treviso, as the Italians have done some sterling work at home, including overcoming Munster at home. Treviso don’t have any of their internationals though, only a few fringe internationals on the bench. Connacht at home and at full strength should roll the Italians over.

Munster vs Newport-Gwent Dragons

Munster get Stringer back from international for this match, probably the form scrum half in Ireland, and Leamy, not the form loosie in the country, as they welcome the Dragons to Limerick. They miss their locks when Ireland calls, there is not the back-up steel to compensate for the loss of O’Callaghan and O’Connell. But the Dragons are not that fiery, and not that toothy either, sitting at 7th in the league. 25 points below Munster, especially at Thomond Park, Munster are going to be way too strong.

Exiles


Leeds Carnegie vs London Irish

After their recent troubles, the Exiles could be on a mini road to recovery. They saw off Gloucester last weekend in reasonable style, and will eyeing up this match like a parched man in a desert spotting a waterhole. If we read their thought bubbles, it would say bonus point win in flashing neon letters. I don’t know if they’ll achieve the bonus point,but win they will.

Shark Bite

The Sharks are two from two so far, and get to take on the Western Force in Aus. Flying half way round the world won’t have helped their chances in this match, although they at least have their first choice squad available. The Force had a bye last week, and lost their opening match to the Reds, although only just. The Reds then got pretty well smashed by the Waratahs. To me, that means neither the Reds nor the Force are that great this year, so the Force are going to bitten, with the Sharks to open their tour with a win.

Aviva Premiership



Friday , March 4

Newcastle vs Harlequins 20:00

Saturday , March 5

Gloucester vs Bath 13:00

Leicester vs Saracens 15:15

Sunday , March 6

Exeter vs Northampton 15:00

Wasps vs Sale 15:00

Leeds Carnegie vs London Irish 15:00

Super Rugby


Friday , March 4

Lions vs Blues 19:10

Crusaders vs Waratahs 19:35

Saturday , March 5

Chiefs vs Melbourne Rebels 19:35

Stormers vs Cheetahs 17:05

Western Force vs Sharks 19:05

Bulls vs Highlanders 19:10

Brumbies vs Reds 19:40

The Magners League


Friday , March 4

Connacht vs Benetton Treviso 19:00

Ulster vs Aironi Rugby 19:05

Edinburgh vs Cardiff Blues 19:30

Leinster vs Scarlets 19:35

Saturday , March 5

Ospreys vs Glasgow 17:30

Munster vs Newport-Gwent D'gons 19:30

6 Nations Review - Burglary at the Stadio Flaminio, England power on, and complaints from the Irish Heart Foundation over Ireland's performance

Ben Foden Picture from http://bit.ly/gMsLYo

RBS Six Nations

Saturday , February 26

Italy 16 - 24 Wales

England 17 - 9 France

Sun - 27th Feb 11

Scotland 18 - 21 Ireland

Italy 16 - 24 Wales

Italian police have been called in to investigate a series of burglaries at the Stadio Flaminio. The suspects are believed to have come from Wales, and followed the same modus operandi as a notorious Irish gang that were operating in the area a few weeks ago. They would like to interview the following suspects who may be able to help them with their enquiries:
 

They were quoted as saying ‘Non avremmo mai dovuto lasciare il Celtic bastardi feckin' nel paese’.

It was another one that got away for the Italians, who played most of the rugby, suffered most of the infringements (15 penalties conceded by Wales) but still came up short. If Richard the III was Italian he would have giving his kingdom for a kicker, with only a third of their kicks on goal countinmg. For Wales, Hook and Roberts showed a few good touches, as did Stoddart, enough to give Wales the game. And as for Italy, if they ever tried to run round a player instead of through him, they might actually get a win. But in fairness, Italy have been narrowly beaten by two good sides, they are making their opposition look bad.

England 17 - 9 France

Ireland entered this tournament looking for a grand slam, what else would you look for. Failing that, at least to win the championship. At this stage, we might get the triple crown, and still lose the championship on points difference. How does a double crown sound? Anyway, England kept Irish hope for the championship alive with a narrow win over Les Bleus. It was a match that didn’t quite live up to it’s billing, although you would have to say that 1066 was pretty hard to top. The match was decided by one missed tackle by France, as Fodden stormed in from short range. Rougerie came within inches of scoring a fantastic try, and Ashton butchered a good try (and made one swan dive he’d rather forget). It was the oldest cliché in the book, a game of two halves, France shaded the first half, and the second half definitely belonged to England. England are getting a nice head of steam up, both for the 6 Nations and the World Cup.

Scotland 18 - 21 Ireland

The weekend rounded off with a visit to Edinburgh where Scotland layed on a lavish welcome, which included a two try gift pack for their guests. Ireland did their best to waste this advantage, giving away penalties all over the place( well more precisely generally right in front of the posts), their absolute very best, but even with their supreme effort Scotland still couldn’t win the match. Heart surgeons all over the country must be toasting Ireland for keeping them in business. I think I'll have a defibrillator on stand by for the Welsh game. Ireland scored three good tries, Ronan O’Gara played an absolute blinder, as did Reddan and Sean O’Brien - that’s about it for the good points. Discipline was absolutely appalling, some highly questionable substitutions were made, and we just seemed to lose our heads in the last 20 minutes. Scotland just kind of hung in there, accepted the gift penalties, but had no clue at all what to do with the ball when they had it. How about a single crown? King of the 6 Nations? With our points difference, 3rd, 4th of 5th looks a distinct possibility.

Shark Bite

Sharks 26 - 12 Blues

I caught about the last 20 mintues of this match played in sweltering heat in Durban. The highlights for me were the breakaway try for the Sharks, Keegan dailes looking lively, and of course Rene Rangers hair. The Sharks hit the road now, while the Blues continue their SA tour, and once they get over the jetlag they are going to do some damage in SA I'd say