There was once a rugby King who had three daughters. There was Princess Internationals, fabled for her outstanding beauty and Princess Heineken Cup also known as a looker. He had another daughter, Princess Magners League. Rich princes came from far and wide to try and win the hand of one of his daughters. Princess Internationals was spoken for, but there was intense competition for the hand of Princess Heineken Cup, whose beauty was said by many to rival that of the great southern princess, Princess Super 14 (although many in the south thought this was a load of cobblers). The King selected a suitor for Princess HK, making sure the prince was rich enough to support his daughter in the style she had become accustomed to , and as a sweetener promised the prince that Princess International would be lending her sparkly stars to Princess HK often as they improved her already outstanding appearance.
Interest in the family dropped off after Princess HK was married, but eventually a poor prince arrived, saying ‘I believe you have another daughter?’. The King brought out Princess Magners League, who was a comely country girl (there could only ever be one answer if she asked ‘Does my bum look big in this?’) with only the faintest hint of a mustache. The King, sensing hesitation from the suitor, put in a good word for her ‘Her squint is but a trick of the light, she applies cream to her warts every night, and those braces should eventually sort out her buck teeth. She scrubs up really well, especially when Princess Internationals lends her those sparkly stars which she does all the time (when Princess HK isn’t using them). And anyway, you’re no oil painting yourself’. The poor prince knew he was going to get slagged by his mates but she was the daughter of the rugby king after all and she did have a certain rural charm. They lived happily ever after (but the poor prince did wonder sometimes when Princess Internationals was going to lend her those sparkly stars).
Magners League on telly
Fri Sep 24
EDINBURGH v LEINSTER, ML, RTE2, 19:05
SAT SEP 25
Connacht v Ulster, ML, BBC2/TG4, 19:30
On Friday Leinster drag their sorry asses over to Edinburgh who are in pretty diabolical form themselves. Edinburgh must be pleased Italy have been added to the Magners League if only for the fact that it means Aironi are propping up the bottom of the table and not them. There’s nothing like a bit of desperation to liven things up and hopefully Leinster will need no more excuses and will put in a performance worthy of a recent Heinken Cup winning team.
Munster welcome back Wallace and Mafi, and should be able to put Glasgow away – it hasn’t been a vintage year for Scotland so far.
Saturday sees a top of the table clash between Connacht and Ulster at the Galway Sportsground. Not often you get to see all those words in the same sentence. The Ulster men are packing a lot of South African beef, the pick of which is Johan Muller – Botha and Wannenberg are past their best IMO. Would love to see Connacht win but I think their party is getting to get pooped by Ulster.
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